Memorial Day weekend!

Had a great run this morning near Castle Island Beach. Still deep in love and determined not to let it bother me. My two pictures were selected into "Common Boston // Neighborhood Photo Project 2009." It only amuses me how I got into this in the first place. Got reconnected with two old friends today. One is from an IHS workshop back in 2004 and the other is a friend's friend that I only met once two years ago. It truly amazes me how far I have gone in my social skills. Thanks, XXX, for the great two years!

It is good

I do not know hows other people channel their personal issues, but for me, it is always positive in the end. Not so sure whether I am unconsciously pretending to be this way, just like I always pretend all my romantic fledgling has the potential to fully blossom, until it is inevitably predictable to get smacked down. Anyway, at least I am feeling quite good, and I have found ways to love and to be loved.

I recall that at the beginning of starting this blog, I was bloating the 4 personal growths. Well, change is never easy, and I sorta went back and forth on some of them, and I am not ashamed to admit it. It is quite easy to forget what you learned and revert back to what you are used to do things. In one of Seinfeld episode, George comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite of everything, so he does, his luck changes and everything begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job with the Yankees and moving out of his parents' house. I am testing a minor version of George's solution, and it seems to be working for me.

The examples are all really small and probably not worth mentioning. Essentially, I have tried to be "irrational" in making arrangements on my daily life. No more forced cost benefit analysis. If I feel like to do something, that is a good enough reason to do it. So yesterday, I was meeting friends the whole day, and today I went to volunteer for a homeless shelter and then did some gardening with my neighbor Katy. Besides, I have been keeping my chatty streaks and explored my hidden talent of being an extrovert.

I am still not sure how it will work out in the end. I was using my rationality to engineer a free-wheeling attitude. Does it sound like oxymoron? This said, however, I am not going to analyze my motivation and potential results here. I have been quite happy, despite a big personal throwback. On the other hand, the failure of my love pursuit threw me over the top and made me want to change. Besides, surprisingly, my over pursuit is not dead yet. We still have our weekly morning run plus breakfast. I am not pushing for anything, but would love to take whatever I can get. Finally, I begin to understand why facebook gives you an option of "whatever I can get," because sometimes that is the only possible option. You cannot be too pick, can you?

Be strong

Giving up is not my strong suit. It has been a unilateral crush to begin with, but it is still hard to let it go. I tend to make things more complicated than necessary, because I play out multiple scenarios in my mind and get carried away. I should have known better. So be strong.

Greater Sunday, and greatest Monday

Some days you just want to hide, and other days you just know you are on a roll and want to talk to anyone crossing the path. Today (Sunday), fortunately, is the latter. I still need to find the right equation, so I can freely switch myself from one mode to another. But for now, I am just relying on my luck and take one day at a time, hoping my happy days are yet to come. Based on the trend of three data points, I am on the rise.

But really, these two days both start normal. Sunday, I got up, and I read a couple of magazine articles. I then went to the gym, and then I took a 2 mile run in the warm Boston spring. And then I met Ailio (who returned from Italy the previous day) in KFC, and met my landlord in the coffee shop and then a distant friend on top of the hub. I came back and met Ailio again for dinner, when he talked about his adventure in Cicely. I was quite happy the whole day, and felt connected to the world in a different way. I guess that I really love to be with people, and love talking.

Today, I was even more chatty, the chattiest in my whole life. If I have to name my happiest days in my life, this will be one of them. I got up, and went to the gym (did you realize that I went to gym every day?!), and then I went to a police impounded car auction. Yes, you are hearing it right, an impounded car auction. I did not have time to look at cars carefully, but jumped into one of the auction and got a Nissan 1998 Altima (120K miles) for 900 dollars. The car had some problems, so it is sitting in a mechanic's garage, and I am waiting for the verdict tomorrow. Hopefully it is not a lemon.

But strangely, as the day went on, owning a car lost its significance, and I could care less whether it was a good deal or bad deal. The whole experience was a blast. Both people bidding on the cars are either dealers or underclass folks. After the bidding was over, dealers are all gone (maybe they had some plans later), but all the other folks were scrabbling to make the cars start. I started with talking a couple of folks next to me, and then my chatting bug got me. I was circling around the parking lot, and tried to make connections with everyone (mostly blacks). Since buying a car is such a stressful event (not mentioning police auction with cars of unknown quality), everyone wanted to talk to release stress.

Perfect time to practice my consulting skills (active listening, smile, sympathy, eye contact, some street-smart expressions). Well, I am kidding about practice my consulting skills in the situation, but I do realize that those skills are important in human interactions, and you can use them sincerely. (But to be honest with you, since those people come from underclass, they probably won't realize if I manipulate the conversation). And I would not be able to make such talks without my consulting training. I was making smart talks with the mechanic to establish some good-natured trust (so he would not screw me). I got some lunch for the car key guys so he took out my after-market alarm for free.

I was almost ecstatic when I left the scene. Perfect timing, since I had a doctor appointment for annual check-up. On the way there, I chatted with a flower seller in the middle of an express way (not a good day for him, after the big mother's day bonanza). I saw a girl fell off her bike, and went forward to fix her bike. While fixing the bike, I chatted a lot. Not surprisingly, I was slightly late for the appointment. I further chatted with the nurse and with the doctor, fully aware that I had not been that chatty for ..... forever.

Got back home, and fixed my bike a bit. Went to microcenter, and couldn't help but chat with the guy in front of me. My opening line "what kind computer is it?" "What do you use it for?" Turned out he is a rap musician. "Have you watched Hustle & Flow?" Talking is just too easy for me today.

My suspicion is that my chattiness would not last for long. After a good night sleep, I will become the same old introverted me again. But somehow, I have a hope that I might be born as extrovert, and I am just discovering my hidden talent. Well, I will see.

Or maybe these days I just have time to reflect and think. I am not completely satisfied with my own life, or it is time to spice it up with different variations of me. After my fair share of disappointments, I am yet again free to experiment. But in the end, I just want to be a better person. Seriously.

Great Saturday

Here is my photography debut!

Some quite update:

1). I was taking photos in South Boston today. It always happens to me like that: the moment I decides to leave a city, all of a sudden there are thousands of reasons for me not to leave it behind. Or maybe there is only one reason. If you have to ask why, I will say it is because of the beauty of south Boston.

2). I went to a charity walk today: March of Dimes. I can care less about the cause, because the victims are invisible to me. But hey, I have got this cool t-shirts with my baby picture on it (well, to be precise, it is a picture of a 7-year-old me).

3). One of my good friends just got married yesterday in Cambridge city hall. They will hold another wedding in Chicago, which I will definitely attend, in August. Congratulation!

4). I am going to run in the morning in the coming weeks!

Quick update

I have been ignoring this blog for a long while, and here are some quick update. However, I am not going to spill too many personal beans.

I have decided to go to Kellogg business in Chicago this summer. It is a bittersweet decision, and I am not exactly sure how it will lead to a uncertain future. But if life is one step a time, at least I am moving along and try not to be left behind. I will be living with a bunch of hippies in a co-op, continuing my co-op life streak.

I was sad for a couple of days after falling for a girl. I wrote a long blog entry about it, but has deleted it since. Being sad is not a bad thing for me, it turns out. It disturbs my otherwise super-boring life and expands my mental elasticity. So when I bounce back this week, I am experiencing some quirky happiness for almost no reasons.

*****
It is April 29, and let me continue on this previous post. Euphoria, that's how I am feeling now. No specific reasons. My life, to certain extent, still sucks, but now I have a good mechanism to let go. Ailio has become my best friend in Boston. He is such a good listener, and I just talk talk talk with no secrets. That's why extroverts are always happier, as talking is always a stress-reliever. Maybe something finally clicked that I am going to be happy after all. Euphoria!

My City: New York

It is May 4, 2009: I realized that I have this unfinished entry since February. I was quite impressed by NYC, and decided to start a "my cities" series. But I never bothered to finish it. As time passes, I have less and less motivation to do so, and it become an eyesore in my draft box. Let me just publish this as it is. Life is all about unfulfilled promises, interrupted dreams and unrealized potentials. At least I am content with the unfinished essays. Here it is.

*****

Good thing that I have been going to gym consistently in the past three weeks. I hope that I can keep it up for the rest of the year. I got a dental implant yesterday. The drilling machine broke down in the middle, so they had to get a spare one from the basement. But other than that, it was a smooth operation and I was biting anything by the end of the day. Now I have a metal screw in my mouth and need to wait for 3 months for a crown installation. One worry though: will airport security check let me pass or trigger a massive alarm? I will see.

Let me blog a city - New York. I had a pretty bad impression about NYC for quite some time. Too many people, too crowded, subway too dirty, people too good-looking, things too expensive, etc. But now I guess that I have to revise the impression a little bit.

I took a trip to New York during the Valentine's Day weekend. I guess that it was too depressing to stay at home alone, so I suddenly had this thought of going to New York alone. It was only 4 hours driving anyway. I rented a car and took off early afternoon and got to a Sheraton near the airport early afternoon. After settling down, I headed out for a Broadway show.