Cel

So it is time to add one more into friend series. I met Cel a while ago when both of us were at an academic conference. She was from XXX, short-hair, independent and somewhat eccentric. We were eager to skip sessions and checked out the local scenes. So we went to the harborwalk for one nice afternoon. I almost forgot about the trip until I revisited my picasa photo album.

Some people just passed through your life in a random walk, and you know all too well that you will never see them again, or you never care to see them again. So many things happened by chance, and why this one could be different? Well, it turns out to be the case. One day last year I was visiting another friend and saw a booklet with the name list and photos. Coming from an academic background, I jokingly promised my friend that I will recognize some faces there. Surprise, it is Cel staring out of the booklet. She did not change a bit (at least according to the photo). And while we were talking, Cel passed by the hallway, on a Saturday afternoon. I said hi, and she immediately recognized me too! After all these years! We chit-chatted, "wow, time flies,.... small world." All these standard bullshits.

A couple of weeks later, We did lunch together with 2 other friends we knew through the same conference. Then we did not contact each other for another long while. In March, I invited her for lunch, fully aware that my days in Boston was numbered. We became friends, most because both of us had experiences in social dislocation (fancy word, indeed. I mean a process of trying to fit in but never fully succeed). So we had this tacit understanding of each other, and we could interpret each other's coded language. Isn't it perfect?

At the very beginning, I know I was treading thin water. It is quite hard to have a true female friend, especially we talked a lot about personal stuff. Once she cried when she talked about something dear to her, and I did not know what to do. Was it high trust or something else? I wasn't fully comfortable, and I kept my distance with a sense of detachment. But still, I got to know her personal history, her family, issues and problems, and I was the one who often offered advice. It was more a one-way power dynamic, and seemingly I enjoyed it.

What brought me over the fence was my own girl trouble. I always like to appear to be unbeatable: life is full of successes, and I am steering my ship under tight control. Only when it comes to dating, I have no successes whatsoever that I can easily admit that I am a failure with no stigma attached. My girl trouble came sporadically, and it always humbled me. This time is no exception. When I recounted my story to Cel, I was no longer the expert who has advice on the fingertip. Rather, I was the kid who just broken the candy jar, ready to admit the mistakes and do not know how to put the broken pieces together. I was useless in relationship, and Cel and I got to the equal footing because of that. (In a weirdest way, my failure in relationship always helped me gain friendship.)

Then it is today. I felt that I culled up like a fetus, and she was the nurturing sister. Thanks Cel.

Ooops, I forgot to describe Cel to you. She is a good scholar, sincere and a good friend of me. She is a serious person. She does not tell jokes, but she seems to like mine (I probably only have one of two types of jokes anyway). She is an "N" person, meaning that she perceive the world in an intuitive way. When I have conversation with her, she likes to jumping around. I was surprised a couple of times by totally unrelated topics in a smooth conversations. She is not very organized (typical "P" personality). For a while, she was complaining about her tax, because she needed to file taxes in multiple countries. I always find this kind of complaints amusing. I told her that she should have a check list. Oh, she cook great pancakes.

It is kinda difficult to blog about Cel. I know her really well, but a lot are personal stuff, so I just cannot just throw them out here. I think I am really luck to have Cel as a great friend in Boston. A couple of weeks later, Cel, Ailio and I are going to a baseball game. Go sox! Even better, when I drive to Chicago next month, I will give Cel a ride on her way to Michigan. Sometimes life just gives you perfect deal!

With this, I am going to end this insignificant day, starting with full of promises, getting crushed in the middle, and recovering slowly and determined to engineer happiness on my own term in the end. It is still 2 and 1/2 hours before the day is over, and I think I am ready to embrace a new day, similarly full of promises.

And let me sneak this one in. Hey, it is your first day too, LD. Good luck!:-)